When they were little, we made rules that suited the situation: NEVER unbuckle your carseat buckles while the car is moving, don't ever touch a plug, stay in your bed during nap time. I had to work hard to remember some rules from those dimly-lit toddler days, OK? - that was a few years ago, folks! Those rules were transitory, right? Thank goodness there's no car seat now, they touch plugs and every other audio/visual opening, and there's no (small sob) nap time.
However, early on in parenting, I noticed adults I respected occasionally saying something like, "My dad always said..." - - - or mom, or parents always said. It made me think about having a few rules/sayings (when do rules turn into sayings?) that these boys would take with them into manhood. So in addition to the temporary "rules", Their Wonderful Dad and I tried to intentionally come up with some things we hope will fall into the Keeper Column, the "Dad always told us..." category, eventually (please, Lord) changing into, "Always remember..." as they speak to their own children! After Jesus' command to "...love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength"*, and likewise higher Biblical commands, we concocted a few to go underneath. Thought I'd share a few, in three occasional posts, that have transitioned well from Toddlerland to Teenland.
Oops! Before that, I want to emphasize two teacher-y things. If you're planning to pass on a few Life Rules to your little people, make sure to say them when they apply to the situation and always say them the same way. These methods create nice, clear memory paths in the brain, sort of like a path through a field of grass. Think of how your learned 'i' before 'e', except after 'c' ... same principle applies here!
Accept Responsibility - This goes all the way back to ol' Adam in the garden, doesn't it? How much would our lives be different if he had accepted responsibility for that first sin instead of trying to blame his dear wife? So when ours were little, this rule came out when the toothbrush was found in the toilet, later - when a backyard gate was left open and the dog ran away, and now -when the computer history shows something it probably shouldn't. If God asks, "What is this you have done?"**, we shouldn't hesitate to follow His example by giving them an opportunity to take responsibility for their deeds AND ALSO a chance to repent for those same deeds.
Do The Right Thing - It's all about choices! So many choices at so many points during a day - 'I'm plum wore out!' (Elly May Clampett) If we could catch them in contemplation, just furrowing their wee, tiny brows, trying to figure out what to do --- that was the teachable moment! The chance to whisper in their ear, "Do the right thing!" Which might've equalled putting peas in their mouth, not up their nose, later - choosing not to use mom's flowers as targets for bow and arrow practice, and now -saying 'no' regarding a party that will include alcohol and minors. We want to equip them to "Choose life.." ***
Clean Up Your Mess - Ah, the constant refrain! This one was a struggle for me, because it seems easier to just not make a mess than to clean one up. I know, that is not realistic, and neatnik - sorry. Occasionally pointing this fact out is a good thing, though, since teenagers must keep this very thing in mind - it is easier to keep your grades at 'B' or above than it is to turn a 'D' into a 'B'. When they are little, everyone uses this, right? "If you got out all the blocks, then Clean Up Your Mess and put them away!" Later, when they unwind all the hoses to irrigate a pond at the very back of your property for the GI Joes to swim in - it is soooooo hard to wind them back up! But they will consider whether or not the fun is worth it, or maybe how to have easier-to-clean-up-fun, if they have to Clean Up the Mess.
Sure would LOVE some feedback on this - I know other more brilliantly phrased sayings are lurking out there! Post your Things You Hope They Remember You Said, maybe in the comments area? Or, if you're all finished with your kids, what do they say you always said ? I hope mine don't only remember the oft-repeated rule: "Pee IN the toilet, not ON the toilet!"
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*Mark 12:30 - Jesus called this the greatest commandment....
**Genesis 3:13
***Deuteronomy 30:19-20 "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him."