2.26.2018

Play the Long Game


My sons are grown. 
I can no longer say "mostly men" when I talk about them. As a younger mom, I envisioned this part of parenting according to the saying "Grown and Flown" ... as in they're gone, I'm finished, finito. If you imagine some tears, you'd be right. Various parenting organizations urged me to make the most of every moment, to maximize every season, before my children finally came of age. And it's true. Time flies by. Adorable tots really do turn into capable adults. Mine certainly did.
But you know what I discovered? 
Parenting does NOT end between cake and gifts at the eighteenth birthday party. 

When that young adult comes asking for advice, "What you think about ..."
help with a project, "Do you have time to work on ..."
or a boost of confidence, "What if I can't do it?"
That's when we know—they still need us. 

No friends, parenting isn't a short-term occupation. There's no retiring from this. Grown and Flown—who thought of that, anyway? We're playing the long gameand we connect with our grown children no matter where they've flown.

But of course, it is different. Briefly, here are a few strategies I'd like to suggest:
                        - Help communication flow by asking open-ended questions.
                        - Don't let old hurts get in the way.
                        - Be flexible and ready for new ideas and activities.
                        - If they live nearby, use food to incite gathering. If you feed them ... 
                          (check out my Football Food Pinterest board)

How do you parent your grown children? I'd love to hear about that.


*** For further reading check out Focus on the Family's resource page for parenting adult children.