Cling-able

In remembrance of these fall flowers, so recently beautiful... as in three days ago.

All now frosted and blackened, in only one freezing night.

When the fall flowers are in their glory, it's about time for me

to return to the basement of UC's nuclear medicine department and bare a buttock (or two) for some injections.

These yearly labs are important in getting a heads-up in case the thyroid cancer recurs. 

*** Side Note:    'Injection style' is a definite thing. 

How hard the injection thrust   vs   how gentle.

How swift the injection   vs   how slooooww can you go... 

The alcohol swipe.

And the count "Here we go!"

"This is it!"

"Big stick now!"

(and the traditional, no-fail) "One, two, THREE!"

Everyone claims own unique technique - should there be a class on this???

I was truly sad to see these nasturtium go. The package that said RED must have really 

indicated ORANGE, but no matter - the charming round leaves carry the day anyway.

Then this surprise bloom!  Beautiful. I've got to go out this weekend and scrape around for seeds.

In the Grand Scheme, these tests are so very, very simple - 

merely one inconvenient week among the 52 weeks of 2014. 

Believe me, I'm thankful that all I have to complain about is some minor injection discomfort. 

I'm well aware that things can be infinitely worse than this.

And in light of that fact, here are two verses from this morning's 

reading that really stood out to me. These are cling-able:

He delivered us from such a deadly peril 

and He will deliver us. On Him 

we have set our hope that He will deliver us again.

2 Corinthians 1:10

The righteous ... he is not afraid of bad news; 

his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.

His heart is steady; he will not be afraid...

Psalm 112:6-8

Words Change

We give our boys lumps of coal in their Christmas stockings. 

From clever candy makers, the lumps are made of (cheap) crispy chocolate. 

lump of coal

funny stocking stuffer

lump under covers

an exciting game of  boo just about to happen

lump of sugar

those crystalline, sweet squares for tea time

"take your lumps"

a common saying in a household of surging testosterone, like mine

Lumps in the gravy!

 teasingly crowed by my family

Before our lives were touched by cancer, the word LUMP was an innocent one. How quickly a simple, one-syllable word can change from light to dark! 

"I found a lump."

"He says there's a lump."

"The results show a lump."

There are lots of nicer, maybe easier to hear, words than lump, that tiny but mighty word no one wants to hear a doctor say, see next to a diagnostic code, or even think when it's not in reference to sugar, blankets or gravy. Medical personnel who do not wish to see their patient burst into tears might use lump in disguise: nodule, cyst, growth, mass. All words which have their own technical nuances, I'm sure, which distinguish it from lump, but still mean the same thing to most of us, who find themselves uncomfortably seated on long sheets of white paper.

I'm praying today for all those whose lives have been impacted by that word. That truth will seep into the confusion of their frightened knowing. The perfect truth of 

the Name 

that is infinitely greater than the tiny word, 

lump. 

Nuclear

Last week, I spent a LOT of time here:

You're not allowed to take your child here, just in case you were wondering. He'll be asked to leave. I guess the nuclear medicine department is in the basement of the hospital for a reason.

Last Friday, I finished my time there and was rewarded with a clean thyroid cancer scan. My heart was celebrating, but it is hard to be really ecstatic when there are so many sober, somber faces around. (Nuclear Medicine does not have a party atmosphere.) I think the overwhelming urge, after celebration, is for flight. Just to leave and be finished! Can you tell that I'm not one to volunteer for hospital visitation ministry? Nope, not me - sitting on hands, no eye contact. I'm a chicken.

He reminds me in His word, though, that He walks those halls Himself. And He is no coward, to shun those buildings, rooms, or basement corridors in favor of comfort.

And He walked them with me, last week.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

Psalm 139: 7-10

Thyroid Scan

The scanning machine at the hospital :

(thanks, google images)

These are the images that appear on the technician's screen as the machine slowly,

oh so slowly, passes over your body:

(more google images - not me)

How thankful I am to have gotten a clean scan - third year in a row!

Psalm 35:18
I will give You thanks in the great congregation; I will praise You among a mighty throng.

"That Healthful Shore"

This song, again on my iPod, ministered to me this morning as I was getting ready to go begin a series injections/pills in preparation for my yearly thyroid cancer scan this Friday. During this same week, in '07, '08, and this year too, I am reminded of the fraility of our lives here in this place. As I sit with others in the very small waiting room of University Hospital's Nuclear Medicine Department, sneaking peeks into the faces of the others waiting with me, it is easy to be highly aware that no guarantee is given to us on the length, or even the quality of life while we are still on this side of "Jordan's stormy banks". I do have a guarantee on what I have to look forward to, though, but it's not over here - it's over there. Not because of anything I have done to deserve it (absolutely nothing) but only because of what Jesus did on my behalf!

The photo copy above only has three verses, but in the original writing by Mr. Stennett, there were eight. I like this one, especially this week:

No chilling wind nor poisonous breath

Can reach that healthful shore

Where sickness, sorrow, pain and death

Are felt and feared no more

You can listen to the Jars of Clay version that I've been enjoying, here. Just drag down to the titles section and click the play arrow of "On Jordan's Stormy Banks I Stand".

For further study of this hymn (or other hymns), along with a nice history of it, go to this blog.

Celebrate!

IT'S AN ANNIVERSARY!

Two years ago today, I was gently led me into a hard place - a place that would make my faith grow into something stronger.

I had gone to the endocrinologist on the recommendation of my rheumatologist when he found a lump on my neck during a routine exam. He indicated that he thought it might be Hashimoto's Thyroiditis - another auto-immune complication perhaps related somehow to the rheumatoid arthritis I've dealt with for many years. I made my appointment quickly, fairly dancing over to the endo at the soonest possible appointment. I just knew that this must be the reason that I've become a little....ahem....chubby in my middle years. Yes, I'd noticed that lump on my neck, but I thought it was the chubby neck some people seem to develop when they turn 40 as I had in the past year. "This will fix my extra-pounds problem!" I thought I'd get a couple pills and begin melting away the inches as my thyroid came back into its proper order. Yippee!

At that first appointment, the endo doubted the H. Thyroiditis and instead insisted on a biopsy. She did not laugh, even a little, when I suggested all I needed was a little prescription of pills. "Am I having an emergency today?" I asked doubtfully, snickering just a little for bravery's sake. "Yes, you are having an emergency," she answered. The following week, two years ago today, I sat on the table, holding my Dear Husband's hand, as she told us that the cells taken in the biopsy were malignant and we were referred to a surgeon.

At each juncture we were told that the chances of this being serious were extremely low. Very low chance that the cells would be malignant - but they were. Very low chance that the biopsy during surgery would show that the entire thyroid would actually have cancerous cells and need to be removed- but it was and it did. As the pieces of bad news came, we decided it was just like like getting a wave of salty sea water right in the face. A very unpleasant shock, that leaves you with an upset stomach as well as bloody hands and knees. Then the wave would recede, and normal life resumed between appointments. The laundry had to be done, the meals had to get cooked, the children required teaching! Thank goodness, those things kept me staked down!

I've changed endocrinologists, having found that the one I had was a little too --- alarmist. Thyroid cancer is a very mild cancer requiring only surgery and a pretty simple treatment of an radioactive iodine drink. Radiation and chemotherapy are not associated with the treatment of thyroid cancer! How thankful I am for this!!! But the first time a doctor looks at you and forms the word "malignant" with her lips - it's going to be a dramatic moment.

That day I heard the Lord speak to me - that's why today is a day worthy to celebrate! I don't know where you find room for this in your theology ... it doesn't matter to me if you do or don't. God spoke to His people in the days of the Bible, and if it's recorded there, then it can happen here and now too. When the doctor left the room, and I was left alone with the news of being dead-center in the middle what I had been told was an emergency, that's when I heard His voice whisper in my heart - "I'll be with you all the way through this!" Peace flooded my soul, and do you know what? He was! Yes, the waves of bad news hit hard, but the peace of His words have never left me!

My last yearly screening for re-growth of thyroid cells is coming up next month. It is no picnic to lay under/in a huge machine hoping that, at the end, the technician will let me go with no further tests - indicating a clean scan. I do get nervous about it - having heard the c-word once in my life, I don't ever want to hear it again!

But how sweet to know that He was and is with me - all the way - and how laviously gracious was He to remind me of what was already written in His word so long ago:

'...He Himself has said, "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you," so that we confidently say, "The Lord is my Helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?"'

Hebrews 13:5b

I hope this bit of my story might encourage you if you're facing something that might seem like an emergency. If you are His child, He's leading you with a sure hand in every situation. He never leaves us - so is any situation really an emergency?