I don't do well at funerals.
You might think, "Who DOES do well at funerals??" Then you haven't been to many funerals, or you might just be very fortunate not to have met some of the individuals that I have, who seem to thrive on the funeral act. Anyway, enough about them and more about me: I don't do well at funerals. I am a private griever - perhaps only because I've had the luxury of not needing to mourn my very nearest and dearest ones. Crying/sobbing/weeping seems best as a solitary activity, at least for me. Those who are able to leak during the memorial services do not offend - I admire and sympathize with them all the more. I just can't join them - someone else's tears seem to dry mine up.
But privately, there have been lots of tears over the last few days. My brother-in-law's funeral today was very difficult to get through. I will miss him very, very much - and I find that I regret not really knowing him better than I did. How much time we waste on small things like food, weather or just complaints when we could be spending energy on building deeper and more authentic relationships with those we love the most. I resolve to ask more questions and listen more closely; to waste less time taking coats and to kiss more cheeks; maybe to stay a little longer than we thought we should.
(frosted cobwebs because every blog post needs a photo)
I'm so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law...your post about him was such a special tribute to him. What you're doing with the book is wonderful. I will be praying that the Lord will be preparing the hearts of those people who will be receiving them.
ReplyDelete"I resolve to ask more questions and listen more closely; to waste less time taking coats and to kiss more cheeks; maybe to stay a little longer than we thought we should." I LOVE THIS! Thank you so much for putting this so beautifully.
Thank you for thinking out loud. I'll remember this.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss, and do identify with how the loss of a loved one - even if it's expected -makes us stop and think about how we live and relate to others. I know you take comfort from knowing his suffering is over now.
ReplyDeleteAs for funerals - I'm with the other camp, I'm afraid. Actually I find many occasions very emotional - even school assembleys, and on one occasion a retirement gift for a long-standing employee that I didn't even know in an organisation that I was only visiting because my husband was a board member!! The last funeral I went to I started sobbing before I went in the church and the vicar asked if I was OK. I was only a distant friend of the deceased.
But we all deal with this stuff in our own way, and that's good too.
I assume this is your husband's brother, and I hope he's coming to terms with the loss too. have a good weekend,
Janice.
Praying for you.... :)
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